


Your Eyes Look Like Coming Home

by thetomkatwholived



Series: Everything Has Changed [1]
Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Backstory, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, Grizz is the Purest, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 06:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19056892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetomkatwholived/pseuds/thetomkatwholived
Summary: Grizz no longer wanted to deny his feelings for Sam.





	Your Eyes Look Like Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Grizz and Sam are slowly taking over my life so this felt inevitable. The plan is to write a companion piece to this piece in Sam's POV, which will pick up right around where this one ends. However, if no one actually wants that, I probably won't do it... I'm typically a dialogue-heavy writer so this format was a departure for me, but I think it worked out in the end. I hope you enjoy!

Grizz Visser was making his way home after an afternoon drinking and playing football with the other members of The Guard. The other guys had decided to take advantage of the lack of parents and play house with their girlfriends, shacking up and pretending like everything was normal. Grizz was becoming a bit of a professional seventh wheel. He liked when he go to walk home alone, though, as it gave him time to himself without all the noise and pressure that seemed to surround him these days. Instead of having to put up the front of being some macho jock, he could reflect on his day and not have to be anything for anyone. It was hard for him to keep up the pretense of being just like his friends and in this new society, it seemed even harder.

Grizz knew he was gay. Sure, he found some girls attractive, but none of them gave him butterflies the way some boys did. However no one, boy or girl, gave him the sensations he got whenever he saw Sam Eliot.

Sam was only a year younger, so Grizz was obviously aware of him for most of his life; in a town and school as small as theirs, it was impossible not to be. He remembers the first day of eighth grade when he and Sam had almost collided in the hallway on his way to math. Already over six feet tall, Grizz hadn’t noticed the smaller boy until it was almost too late. They did an awkward little dance of trying to get around each other, before Grizz huffed out a laugh and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder to still him. He looked up, and Grizz momentarily got lost in his sparkling blue eyes. Nonetheless, seeing as he was so deep in the closet he was practically in Narnia, Grizz shook his head and moved aside for Sam to walk by, following him with his eyes for a moment. 

It wasn’t until he was in the tenth grade and the new freshmen entered the high school that he realized that Sam Eliot was going to be a big part of his thoughts. He was no longer a short, awkward boy with braces and unruly hair. He was now almost six feet tall, with a fuller face and calmer hair. His eyes still shone just as bright. Grizz caught a glimpse of him that first day and promptly forgot how to breathe. This boy had grown and changed, but still held the same sweetness that Grizz had first gravitated towards. 

Having known everyone in this town for most of life, Grizz was sure he’d be able to finish high school without being tempted by anyone. He found some of his friends attractive, but no one was captivating enough to make him  _ feel _ . But here was Sam, reappearing in Grizz’s life more handsome than he could have imagined. Suddenly, the idea of staying in the closet and never having a shot with him was becoming unbearable.

As the years went by, Sam only became more - more handsome, more captivating, more dangerous. After high school, Grizz was going to get out of West Ham; he would maybe stay sort of close and go to Williams or Amherst. Or maybe he’d cross the country and go to Reed or Pomona. He’d get to study philosophy and Classics, maybe try his hand at theater because he missed the thrill of performing and loved to read plays. He’d still play football, but it wouldn’t be his whole identity. And he’d come out. He’d get to be openly gay and maybe find a boyfriend during his collegiate years. It was a solid plan, one that saved him from having to deal with whatever weird stigma his vaguely conservative small town would place on him. He didn’t want people to start looking at him differently; what if everything he did would now have an asterisk denoting his sexuality?

Sam was dangerous because he threatened to overthrow that plan. Grizz  _ ached _ to be close to him; to converse with him and maybe hold his hand and kiss him. He wanted to be his friend and his confidante and his boyfriend. That ache only grew as Sam proved to be sweet and caring, and, as the same time, wildly sarcastic and smart. 

But Grizz stayed away. He couldn’t be out yet. Maybe his friends wouldn’t care, but they’d also probably start feeling weird around him in the locker room. He loved Jason and Clark, he really did, but they could be insensitive idiots a lot of the time. And the town, while small, was also largely religious; Christianity and homosexuality still seemed to be at odds. He liked Helena, and he didn’t want to put them in a situation that could be uncomfortable for either of them. So he would date the occasional girl and keep his true feelings to himself. 

***

And then... They all somehow got trapped in some weird alternate universe version of their town with no discernible way out. Suddenly, his plan to go to Williams and come out as a frosh was dashed. Not only that, but he was stuck in this town with only 249 other people, one of them being Sam Eliot. It was hard enough to avoid him when the town had 8,000 people, but now it seemed nearly impossible. Everywhere he went, he felt his presence. While having meals in the cafeteria, he was always sure to find him in the crowd first, just so he knew where he was. During town meetings in the church, he made sure Sam was always in his periphery, if not his direct line of sight. Because maybe, being stuck in this place was his chance to make a move. Who cares about homosexuality when the apocalypse may be taking place?

***

For some reason, at the suggestion of Kelly, prom was happening. And just like in the real world, he had volunteered to help organize it, wanting to make life feel a little more normal in this weird, new place. It also meant he could get away with not having a date because he was “too busy.” He’d dance with anyone who asked, but he didn’t want the obligation of matching a girl’s dress and picking her up. He didn’t want her to expect anything afterwards. He’d gotten drunk and slept with girls before, but every experience left him feeling empty inside. As the only single member of The Guard, he’d had girls take an interest in him, still, he grew tired of pretending to feel anything back. This night would be about having fun and being himself, not trying to keep up any sort of facade.

Everything was going well. Bean had found some old records and the soundtrack was incredible. The bar mitzvah decorations were perfect, adding a childlike flair that helped to lessen the severity of their current circumstance. A lot of people had asked him to dance and he was happy to oblige. And then, Sam walked in, looking ridiculously handsome in a peach vest and plaid tie. Even though their outfits and colors didn’t match, something about the absurdity of their sartorial choices made Grizz feel, for one moment, that they could look like they came together.

Grizz made a decision. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system or maybe it was the creeping inevitability of being stuck in this weird place. But tonight, he was going to talk to Sam. He was going to make it known to him, in some small way, that he was there and he could be an option. Grizz knew he’d chicken out of actually asking him out, but he wanted to open the lines of communication and show Sam that there was someone here who wanted him. They could be friends. Allies in this strange place. And maybe Sam would fall for him after some time. Sure, it could be because he was the only option, but Grizz didn’t care. Any amount of time he could spend with Sam was worth it, regardless of the circumstances. 

So he sat next to him, he shot down his claims of not speaking well, and showed him the one sign he knew. When Sam laughed, Grizz felt like he could fly. He wanted more from him. He wanted to make him laugh all the time. So he asked for more. Sam opened up about hating high school, and Grizz, despite his popular jock status, could relate. They traded stories until Kelly gave her speech, effectively ruining the light mood of prom.

Becca came to find Sam not long after, pulling him away before he could even say goodbye to Grizz. As he left, Grizz didn’t even try to hide the longing in his gaze. He was fucked.

***

His plan for the next day was to start to learn how to sign. If he wanted to connect with Sam, he knew that was the logical next step. However, this plan got a bit derailed when it came to light that Cassandra had been murdered. Suddenly, his job as a glorified security guard took on some real weight as he and the rest of The Guard became the town police force.

After the trial and execution, as some form of stasis was established, Grizz scoured the shelves of the library in an attempt to find a sign language book. When he came across a British Sign Language instruction manual, he couldn’t help but to let out a small whoop of excitement. He’d spend his off hours studying and then impress Sam with his knowledge. They’d start to hang out more and Grizz would perfect his technique. Eventually, he’d sweep Sam off his feet by wooing him in his own language.

***

As it turned out, learning a new language from just a book was incredibly difficult. Grizz wanted to get this right and that meant he had to spend hours agonizing over the text, making sure he was able to string together the right signs. If they were in the real world, he’d just find some YouTube tutorial and watch that a few times. But if they were in the real world, right now, he’d be moving up to Massachusetts and trying to get over his silly high school crush. Instead, he was stuck in his hometown maybe forever. Yet, now, he had the opportunity to pursue that crush.

***

Months later, Grizz still felt self-conscious about his sign language. Sam was so sweet that he would never make fun of Grizz for being sloppy, but Grizz wanted to get it perfect for him. He deserved someone to put in that level of effort. Listening to Luke’s explanation about wanting to be with Helena forever truly opened Grizz’s eyes. He wanted that forever feeling and he wanted it with Sam.

“Gordie!” Grizz burst through into the kitchen of Allie’s home, now a place he shared with a small group of people, including Gordie. He had made some dumb excuse to part ways with Luke and Clark after the ring selection, needing to finally follow-through on his plan.

“Hey Grizz. Everything alright?” Gordie was pouring over some sort of book, probably doing research for the Committee on Going Home.

“Is Sam here?” Grizz knew he sounded frantic. He felt frantic. 

“Sam? Um, no. He’s at the library, I think. Yeah, he took off about half an hour ago.” Gordie seemed to sense Grizz’s urgency, yet he knew not to question it. It was hard to have a secret in such a communal environment, and Gordie wanted to let Grizz have his own business.

“The library?” Gordie nodded. “Perfect! Thank you!” Grizz ran to get his sign language book and then took off towards the library, ready to finally take the leap he had been avoiding for so long. His heart belonged to Sam Eliot and he was ready to make that clear. 

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to [lazygeisha](http:/lazygeisha.tumblr.com/) and [somewhatashaun](http:/somewhatashaun.tumblr.com/) for acting as betas for this story! I really, really appreciate it!
> 
> Feel free to find me on Tumblr at [theswiftiewholived](https://theswiftiewholived.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
